Have you ever gone through a series of drama in your life?

Well, we all certainly have. Whether is a small roller coaster ride or a huge roller coaster ride with 4 loops that scares you out, we all must have gone through it. Depressed, sad, and any other unwanted feelings are always ready to come to us whenever we fail or experience a tragedy. The question is, how would you react with these kind of situation?

I have this one theory, that actually work for me to overcome depression and sadness. I was really depressed once. Everything just gone wrong, my plans are ruined and I was really sad and depressed. As the time flies, which is two years time, I finally gain back the confidence and the spirit to move on and continue life as it is. In short, I accept what has happened to me. Is it easy? trust me it's not easy. If it's easy, it won't took me two years to completely heal and move on.

There are three stages in depression or sadness that you have to go through.

First, BE SAD. It is totally okay for you to feel sad after a set of tragedies. As a human being, feeling sad is really normal. That part of emotion is always here inside us. Call someone a liar if they say they haven't felt sad. Even as a child we cried a lot. Go, be sad! mourn your life, cry! take it all out from you. But, you have to make sure that this stage doesn't take you long. Because life has to go on. After you finished mourning your life, let's go to the second stage.

Second, ACCEPT it. After locking yourself in your room for a week or two, you have to accept it. You have all the time in the world when you lock yourself in your room. Take that time to reflect as well. What has happened, how it affects your life and how and when you want to move on. Try to see positives sides behind it. Slowly open up and talk to other people about your problem. Again, you have all  the time you need for this accepting stage. It won't be easy. Sometimes you will feel like you're going back to stage one. Sadness and pain will haunt you down, but be strong. Look up to the positive things that you found. And find a way to escape those feelings, to cheer yourself up. Be it a slice of cake, good cup of coffee, or a talk over a bowl of Pho with your friend.

Last stage is MOVING ON. This is the point, where you are tired of being sad and you accepted everything as part of life. You will feel like you can breath again, that the sky is always bright and you are ready to face new challenges. You will be more energized as ever. At this stage, as you flash back to the past stages, you will smile and feel grateful that you finally did it. You finally escape the sadness.

It may takes months or even a couple of year. It's alright. Just enjoy the process. Have you ever be in the same situation again, you will go through these stages faster than before. Because you were there once, and now you know how to deal with it.

And always remember,

If you can see the positive sides of everything, you will be able to live a much richer life.

 -Celestine Chua

Well, it's time of the year again...

Marhaban Yaa Ramadhan!

There are lots of changes happened in the past one year. But, Alhamdulillah that I still have the chance to welcome another Ramadhan. Ramadhan this year will still be in the same circumstances as last year's. We have to fast for approx. 19 hours since it's currently summer. So yeah, that means another 5 kilos less on my scale :D But of course that is not the essence of Ramadhan. It's just a bonus point ;)

So, tomorrow begins the holy month of Ramadhan. And this year I have to fast alone. Yes. I will be having my sahur and iftar alone. This is my first time ever fasting far away (4-hours-drive away, to be exact) from home. As Ramadhan is not something that really common in Germany, you can not really feel the vibes of Ramadhan. And sadly I only have the chance to go home, when I'm finish with exams. Until then, I have to fast alone. Which wouldn't be a problem for me, I guess. Because I'm pretty good at waking up early. So I will manage to eat sahur on time, hopefully.

I have been making some changes in the previous months. I ponder a lot during my time alone here in Halle. I need to figure out lots of things in my life. Such as goals, dreams, plans, etc. And one thing I'm sure is that I want to be a better person. Better in every way. More devoting to God and become a better person with good personalities.

I believe during Ramadhan, I can devote myself even more to God. Trying to do whatever He likes, learn more about my believe and alongside, I just want to be grateful and appreciate everything.

Happy Fasting!

Tulisan ini bukan sebuah curahan hati atau another halaman di buku diary. Ini kisah seseorang yang memilih untuk pasrah. Seperti yang kita tahu, kita diharuskan berusaha, berdo'a dan setelah itu baru pasrah/tawakkal. Dia yang telah melewati berbagai lika-liku kehidupan akhirnya memilih untuk pasrah. Selama hampir dua tahun hidupnya selalu membelakangi realita. Mungkin dia menjalani kehidupan sesuai realita, tapi dalam hatinya masih percaya bahwa ini bukan kehidupannya. Dia masih dengan angan-angannya yang mungkin kita bisa bilang sedikit 'maksa'. Selama hampir dua tahun itu lah dia selalu bersedih, depressed dan suffering. Dan pada akhirnya dia memutuskan untuk pasrah. Dia menyerahkan segalanya kepada Allah s.w.t. Kenapa? Alasannya hanya satu. Dia ingin bernafas kembali.

Selama hampir dua tahun itu dia hidup dengan menentang keputusan-Nya. Buatnya tuhan itu tidak adil. Setiap harinya hanya diisi dengan meratapi hidupnya yang tidak sesuai angan-angan dan cita-citanya. Entah sudah berapa ribu kali kata "What If" dan "Seharusnya kan" diucapkan. Semakin dia melihat sekeliling semakin dia membeci kehidupannya yang sekarang. Tapi semua itu berubah. Cukup dengan waktu 2 bulan, dia bisa merelakan segalanya. Dan dia merasa bisa bernafas kembali. Dia sudah tidak lagi bertahan dengan angan-angannya yang mungkin memang bukan jalannya atau belum saatnya terjadi. Dia relakan semua yang dia inginkan di kehidupan ini. Dia hanya ingin menjalani kehidupan seperti yang ada. Dia memilih untuk menerima kenyataan. Prinsip hidupnya sekarang adalah berusaha, berdo'a dan tawakkal.

“Dan kepada Allah saja hendaknya kalian bertawakal, jika kalian benar-benar beriman.” (QS. Al-Ma’idah: 23)

Pernah suatu masa, sang Nahkoda tersenyum gembira. Dia seakan tidak percaya dengan apa yang dilihatnya. Ya, sebuah pulau! Sang Nahkoda menyuruh awak kapal untuk segera bersiap menuju ke Pulau tersebut, untuk berlabuh. Dikira sang Nahkoda, di sana lah dia akan mengakhiri hidupnya. Di Pulau yang tak terjamah itu. Pikirnya, daripada terus berlayar tidak tentu arah, lebih baik berlabuh dan membangun kehidupan di Pulau itu. Gejolak ombak menerpa kapal berkali-kali. Namun pada sang Nahkoda tidak terbesit sedikit pun rasa khawatir. Dia percaya bahwa kapalnya kokoh dan tangguh. Dilihatnya sendiri kapal itu dibuat dari kayu dan besi pilihan.

Tapi ternyata pulau itu tidak dekat. Meski dalam teropongnya terlihat jelas, perlu waktu untuk mencapainya. Badai yang mengamuk, ombak yang menggila dan awak kapal yang melemah dan mulai menyerah tidak mengurungkan niat sang Nahkoda untuk berlabuh, memijakkan kakinya di tanah. Hari demi hari telah berlalu. Kali ini sang Nahkoda mulai meragui keberadaan pulau itu. Terlalu lama untuk digapai, terlalu banyak rintangan. Apakah pulau itu hanya sebuah fatamorgana? Apakah aku bermimpi? sang Nahkoda bertanya pada dirinya. Awak kapal berkumpul, bersorak bukan gembira tapi ingin sang Nahkoda untuk mengurungkan niatnya. Dilihatnya lagi pulau itu melalui teropongnya. Masih ada, hanya saja mengecil dan semakin mengecil. Itu pulau yang ingin dituju, tapi setelah perhitungan bintang untuk menentukan arah, bukannya mendekat justru malah menjauh. Apakah langit tidak mengizinkanku berlabuh di sana?

Demi memutuskan ketidakpastian, sang Nahkoda berseru "Kita kembali berlayar, hingga benar-benar kita temukan pulau yang terbaik untuk berlabuh!". Pelayaran itu dimulai kembali. Masih dengan tujuan yang sama, untuk berlabuh. Tapi kali ini berlabuh di pulau yang pasti, dengan izin langit dan semesta.

Kapal dengan bendera berlambang hati itupun terus berlayar......